


B-Sides

by Lavavulture



Series: Dog and Cole's Magical Rom-Com Adventures [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Background Iron Bull/Dorian, But Dirtier, M/M, Still Fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-14 20:24:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3424391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lavavulture/pseuds/Lavavulture
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A small collection of pieces that didn't fit into the last story and won't fit into the next.  Fluffy and kinky, my favorite combination.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Me a Match

Cole had found him in a snowbank and looking back on it Varric thought that this had been the beginning of the trouble because you don’t have someone look at you with that kind of gratitude without wanting to know more about them.

After they’d gotten the large, delirious man back to Skyhold and began patching him up, Varric mostly forgot about him. They saved lots of people. Then one day he’d come across Cole sitting on the wall near the infirmary tents, kicking his legs slowly and looking down with an expression on his face Varric had never seen on him before.

The watching wasn’t so weird, although Cole hadn’t been doing it as much since he’d become more human. But the puzzled look of longing on his face was definitely new.

“What are we looking at here, Kid? Surgeon get a new hat?” Varric settled himself down on the wall beside Cole and glanced down.

To his surprise he saw the man they’d rescued painfully moving around the grounds, the healer trying her best to help him despite the fact that she was several feet shorter than he was. At one point he stumbled a bit, nearly taking her with him, and Cole actually tensed next to Varric.

“Pain burning and twisting, but he’s trying. She’s kind and he wants to make her happy. Kindness is a gift,” Cole said distractedly, kicking his legs harder.

Below the man lay his hands on his knees for a moment and glanced up, panting a bit. Cole actually drew back a bit, ducking his head so low that even someone looking up would only see the brim of his hat. His right hand fitfully picked at his left sleeve.

Varric swallowed hard and had only one thought.

He needed to figure out who this guy was and quick.

Leliana was the best person to go to for the information. Varric had his own sources but he didn’t think he could get the answers he needed as quickly as he needed them. Cole looked already half-gone. 

She had been a little irritated at his request but lots of things seemed to irritate her lately. It only took a couple days before she presented him with a little dossier. By that point the kid had already identified himself as Dog and Sera had recognized him as a Red Jenny who had been operating largely in Orlais and Antiva.

“Dognapping,” Sera said, chortling. “Steals other stuff, okay, but it’s mostly the dogs. Those noble dickholes treat their pets worse than their servants and they treat their servants like shite. He takes them and gives them to regular people really far away.”

Leliana had shown him a bit more than that, a sad childhood story that didn’t interest Varric very much because Maker knows they all had them and an older former lover who hadn’t been very receptive to talking about him. Most of the people Leliana’s agents talked to said that he was an okay guy, crude and outspoken but ultimately good-hearted.

“Is that it? Nothing sinister or unexpected that we should worry about?” Varric wanted to be absolutely sure before moving forward.

“He is no one,” Leliana snapped. “I will keep looking but I don’t know why you’re so interested. I have more important matters to look into than an incompetent thief.”

Soon Dog’s personal belongings would turn up after having been accidentally shoved into the healer’s trunk and Leliana would find something interesting to investigate but that was later.

“All right, I was just curious. It’s not that important.” Varric held his hands up and grinned. He didn’t see the point in sharing his concerns when nothing had even happened yet.

The next time he came across Cole sitting on the wall and staring down at the infirmary Varric settled himself down beside him and prepared his next move.

Dog was moving around more freely on the grounds and laughing at something that another patient said. He was nothing that special to look at beyond his height and large frame. He had a pleasant face with shaggy black hair and sleepy eyes but it was his sly smile that was obviously charming to the people around him.

“Pain lessened but still afraid. It had been so cold, so hard to believe that it wasn’t the end. Laughing helps.” Cole scratched his cheek, which was flushed pink as he watched.

“You know, Kid, I bet he would feel even better if you went down and talked to him,” Varric suggested carefully. 

Cole turned his head to look at Varric, unblinking eyes surprised. “Talking to me would help?”

“Couldn’t hurt. You saved his life. He probably wants to thank you.” Varric smiled and nudged him a bit. “Go introduce yourself. Make friends! It’s the human thing to do.”’

“Yes, humans say hello and mean more, make me real, connect me to you and help me be safe. Hawke makes jokes and means love me as I am, protect me. You do the same.” Cole stood up, looking excited from his own pep talk. 

“Exactly! Although maybe we should work on the jokes a little more before you share them with other people. Now go.” Varric’s smile faded as Cole disappeared and then reappeared below. If this Dog was anything less than completely wonderful to him Varric was going to drop-kick him off the mountain.

Dog seemed surprised to see him but pleased. They talked for a bit, too quietly for Varric to hear, but Dog leaned forward with amused interest as Cole spoke. He smiled his thoroughly charming smile and Cole smiled back, bright and open, blatantly smitten.

Dog’s smile faded a bit and then Varric’s own grin returned. He knew that look. That was the look of man who had realized that he was in trouble and yet probably wasn’t going to turn back. He was pretty sure it was the only look he ever gave Bianca.

Varric put his hands behind his head and preened a bit. When he got back to Kirkwall he should start up a matchmaking service with Hawke. She would love it and it might bring that smirk back to its permanent place on her face. Of course Hawke would probably let Isabela name it something filthy and then Aveline might give them a citation for public indecency. Just the thought made him miss home.


	2. Let’s Misbehave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know where the Iron Bull sleeps in the game (except in everybody's bed, high five). Is he actually somewhere in the tavern? I'm pretty sure Krem sleeps in that chair because he's mastered all the most comfortable ways of being in it.

Dorian very carefully shut the door behind him and began sneaking down the hallway. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed about the idea of sleeping with the Iron Bull but—actually, it was exactly that he was embarrassed. The man actually thought that his innuendos were funny and that his pants weren’t.

As he made his way quietly away from the Iron Bull’s room he heard a faint gasping noise from above followed by a sharp thud. He glanced up curiously. That was where Cole usually skulked around.

He thought about calling out to him but another soft thud made him change his mind. If Cole was in some sort of trouble he didn’t want to announce himself first. Dorian clutched his staff tightly and crept up the stairs. At first he didn’t see anything but as he looked around he spotted a figure facing away from him in a dark alcove. He frowned in sudden recognition. It was that broad-shouldered thief that they’d found, the one with the poor manners and atrocious accent and terrible name. 

Dog obviously wasn’t alone although his tall form was completely obscuring whoever he was with. The muffled cries from his partner were male however and disturbingly familiar.

“You’re all afire today, sweet,” Dog said with a satisfied grunt, pulling his head back. He shifted a bit to rest his back against a pillar and Dorian was suddenly, horribly treated to the sight of Cole being kissed with intimate abandon. 

Cole was clutching Dog’s shirt desperately and Dorian had never wanted less to see two men wantonly pawing at one another. One of Dog’s large hands was working its way up the back of Cole’s shirt—once again on backwards—while the other clutched his ass like a lifeline. The noises Cole was making were horrifically obscene.

Dorian considered blinding and deafening himself so that perhaps one day he could enjoy sex again without having to imagine shy, spooky Cole enthusiastically sticking his tongue down someone’s throat.

He fled down the stairs, confident that the two of them would never hear him and somehow stumbled back into the Iron Bull’s room. He spent the night there, too uncomfortable to move again for fear that he might hear something else.

The next day the Iron Bull was pleased if surprised to see him still there and tried to treat him to some morning activities. Dorian tried to go along with it but his mortification from last night had morphed into worry and the Iron Bull could tell that something was wrong.

“What? Did I mess up your favorite shirt or something last night?” The Iron Bull leaned back on the bed and tried not to look concerned.

“Probably, but that’s not what’s upsetting me.” Dorian explained what had happened last night, expecting some sort of protective reaction. The Iron Bull was very fond of Cole.

Instead Bull just looked at him blankly and shrugged. “So? Sounds like he was having some fun finally.”

Bull considered his words for a minute and snapped his fingers. “That’s why Candy didn’t work out! Kid likes dick! I could have set him up with that.”

Dorian looked at the Iron Bull and wondered if he could ever allow this man to touch him again. He spoke very slowly, “We don’t know anything about this thief. He’s barely been here any time at all and they’re already almost naked right above us!”

The Iron Bull shifted a bit. “That’s kind of hot. You think the kid listens to us fuck with his brain and tells that guy about it?”

Really after that there was no answer more appropriate than setting fire to the Iron Bull’s bed and leaving.

Dorian thought the most responsible thing for him to do would be to talk with Cole so he made his way back up the stairs, praying to whatever gods might actually exist that he wouldn’t see anything more than what he already had.

Cole was alone, standing in his corner with a contemplative look on his face. 

“Four brothers, bound by changed blood and circumstance. They lived below with the man they called father,” Cole said thoughtfully as Dorian came closer to him. “Hello Dorian.”

“Hello Cole,” Dorian said with a false cheer that sounded ridiculous. Cole didn’t seem to notice.

Dorian cleared his throat. “I was wondering how you were doing. We haven’t had a chance to talk recently and I wondered if you had any questions or concerns you want to discuss with me.”

Cole brought a thumb up to his mouth and chewed on it for a moment as he stared at him with unblinking eyes. “Yes. I do have a question for you.”

Dorian prepared himself. “Yes?” 

“How do you make your hair listen to you when you tell it where to go? It’s always where you want it be but mine likes my eyes and my mouth when it’s windy.” 

Dorian blinked slowly. “With gel. Is that…all you wanted to ask me?”

“I think so.” Cole considered it for a moment. His eyes widened with understanding. “Did you want to ask me something? Like we agreed?”

“Well,” Dorian hesitated. He’d really hoped he wouldn’t have to be the one to bring it up. “You see, I came up here last night because I heard a noise.”

“Yes, that was me.” Cole nodded. “The noises won’t stay in my throat when Dog touches me.”

“That’s exactly what I wanted to talk to you about. Does this…Dog ever touch you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable?”

“Yes.” Cole looked momentarily disquieted. “He touches me and I want him to touch me more. But he stops and I feel uncomfortable. The Iron Bull doesn’t stop unless you say his word. Do I need a word first?”

Dorian coughed and then couldn’t stop for a moment. Cole awkwardly rubbed his back until the fit passed.

“This has been an absolutely wonderful conversation, Cole, and we really must do it again sometime but I need to go. Right now.”

“All right,” Cole said, his eyes large and concerned for him. Dorian fled from them like a coward.

He’d always thought that one of the good things about his preference for men was that he wouldn’t have to have an awkward talk about sex with his children like the one he’d had with his father. He’d be damned if he would lose that benefit.

Maybe he should make the Iron Bull talk to him instead. The lummox should do something to make up for his uncouth behavior. He could talk to that scruffy thief instead.


	3. Lay All Your Love On Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously inspired by this delicious picture. I really couldn't get the idea out of my idea. Also, if you don't really want to see Cole going down to dirtytown, don't read this chapter. It'll return to pure fluff for the next time. But here be sex.
> 
> https://41.media.tumblr.com/0e7e8a92bbabbe7b01e651b91fb8bcc8/tumblr_njvpf2U7pB1s74wrmo2_r1_1280.jpg

Dog settled his back against the pillow and mostly just watched.

Cole didn’t need much help from him as he slid his body up and down on Dog’s lap, gasping in pleasure. Dog had wondered earlier that night how Cole would handle exploring his own desire and the answer was wonderfully clear. He was lost in it, in the slow slide up and sudden, shocking slide down.

“That’s perfect,” Dog said huskily and Cole moaned in response, his long fingers twitching against his broad chest for balance. “Look at you, being so good to yourself. Such a pretty sight.”

Dog took one of his hands and wrapped it around Cole’s neglected erection. He led him through a long, firm stroke and Cole’s hips stuttered to a stop in surprise. He let out a hiccupping cry.

“Even better that, yeah?” Dog let Cole continue stroking himself with growing fervor and he put his large hand on his hip. He gently encouraged him to continue the exploratory movements up and down.

Cole moaned louder, shaking his head slightly. “That’s too much everywhere.”

“Just enough, sweet, let it happen. You’re doing so good,” Dog said soothingly, moving his free hand up to Cole’s open mouth, stroking his bottom lip with his thumb. Next time he would try that pretty mouth, see if his lips would be as welcoming around him. The thought was almost too much for him and he stilled Cole’s movements.

“No, this isn’t what I want now!” Cole’s hand moved faster along his cock as he tried to free himself of the hand pinning him down.

“Hold a minute, don’t want to spill in you yet. You’ve just started,” Dog warned.

“Swelling, already so swollen. Let him explore this, fight the urge to take,” Cole told him fitfully.

Dog grunted. “That’s cheating now. None of those tricks.”

He thrust up once sharply and Cole positively howled, the sound turning into a disappointed whimper when Dog didn’t follow it up with anything more.

A moment later they heard banging on the door.

“Knock it off, fucking plug it up already!” Sera screamed from the other side of the door.

Dog grinned and decided to take pity on everyone. He loosened his grip on Cole’s hip and began meeting each hesitant downwards slide with a hard upwards thrust. Cole almost sobbed in relief, his cries filling the small room.

“Shut it! Shut it, Creepy!” Sera pounded on the door again.

“You just ignore her, sweet.” Dog stroked Cole’s lip in time with their movements.

He needn’t have said anything. Cole was already gone, eyes glazed, and with one more loud cry he came.

“Beautiful,” Dog said and sat up. He gathered a weak-limbed Cole to chest and began moving in earnest, loving the dazed little whimpers Cole let out as he used his body to find his own completion. He came with a low groan and pulled Cole into a long kiss.

When they finally broke apart Cole glanced over at the door with sudden realization on his face. “Sera is not happy.”

“Let her be unhappy.” Dog raised his voice. “Shouldn’t be listening into other people’s business anyway.”

“I’m trying to fucking sleep. You think I want stupid elfy ears when Creepy’s going off like a leaky cat?” Sera kicked the door in frustration.

Dog chuckled. “You’re so charming. It’s what I like most about you.”

“Cats don’t leak,” Cole offered helpfully. “The roof does and noses and people when I stab them. But not cats. I would never stab a cat.”

Sera made an impressive exasperated noise and stomped off.

“Tired of their shite, gotta do something about it, what’s the good of fingering the boss if it can’t get me good sleep,” Cole said in a scarily passable Sera-voice. He frowned. “Should we not have sex here?”

“Ignore her, rabbit, she’s just jealous she’s not getting any this week.” Dog stroked his back sleepily and yawned. He grabbed a random piece of cloth from the ground and began cleaning them off. “Don’t want you feeling anything but proud of what you did here.”

“Proud of sex?” Cole stared at him curiously.

“Proud of enjoying yourself. You’re people too, you deserve to take care of yourself. Sex or whatever you want.” Dog yawned again. “You gonna try to sleep tonight?”

Cole considered it and nodded. He’d recently started to be curious about what it would be like to enter the Fade in dreams like other people. So far he’d been unable to fall asleep and generally he would slip away in the night to do helpful things for other people. Dog liked that he was trying however.

Dog settled down onto the bed and pulled Cole against him. “You remember how to start?”

“Close my eyes,” Cole said and did. “Relax my body.” 

He went completely limp in an instant and Dog laughed. “Perfect so far.”

“Think about something nice, like a field or a pond or the beach,” Cole said softly, trying not to move his mouth very much. “Float into the clouds in the sky or sink into the warm water.”

Dog felt his eyelids dropping at Cole’s slow intonation. The last thing he heard before he fell asleep was Cole whispering his last bit of sleeping advice.

“Know that you’re safe and cared for and let go.”


	4. Science Fiction/Double Feature

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went to a work conference and wrote this on one of the free notebooks the vendors were handing out. Because I'm a motherfucking pro. I also really want to see this Antivan play.

“Want some?” Dog offered his honey-glazed cashews to Cole and was surprised when he took some, his eyes never leaving the stage far below.

Dog was less surprised when Cole set the nuts down beside him and the fattest squirrel he’d ever seen appeared out of nowhere to spirit them away. However by then Cole had noticed the honey on his fingers. He looked so distressed at the stickiness pinning his fingers together that Dog laughed.

“Let me help,” he said, taking Cole’s middle finger and sucking the honey from it slowly. He grinned as Cole turned his attention to him. He released his finger and licked his lips in satisfaction. “Tastes sweet.”

Cole looked at his still-sticky hand and very tentatively licked at his thumb.

“Sweet,” he murmured. “Stolen from the swarm but not with cruelty, warmed over a slow flame, dripped delicately over, careful not to burn or spill.”

He slid his index finger into his mouth and smiled delightedly. “I like it!”

“You should really try it on something,” Dog said and offered him the nuts again.

“No, I don’t think so,” Cole said decisively. “I just like the honey.”

“Suit yourself, rabbit. Leaves more for me.” Dog leaned back as far as he could on the thick ledge and nodded to the play below. “Like the show? They’re all the way from Antiva City. Don’t know why they come to Val Royeaux for though. Full of two-faced, piss-swilling nug-lickers.”

“They don’t really have two faces. They’re masks.” Cole drew his knees up to his chest and peered down like an eager child. “I like this play. But I don’t know what they’re saying.”

“No? You can’t, you know.” Dog made a vague motion around his head but Cole merely looked confused. “Read their minds?”

“There’s too many people everywhere, all their hurts sticking in like little pins. It burns to try.”

“No trying then.” Dog slid closer and slung one arm around Cole’s hunched shoulders. “I know some Antivan so I can tell you what they’re saying.”

Cole snuggled closer. Dog watched the play for moment, mostly just enjoying his lover’s weight against him. After a time he pointed to a man below.

“See that flash prick with the purple coat? He’s telling that ugly fuck he wants to marry his daughter. That’s the girl with the long hair.”

“The one who was singing to the goat before?” 

“Same one, yeah. Goat-girl don’t want to marry him though. She wants to marry that ginger soldier.”

“But he kissed the woman with the pointy hat!” Cole looked startled.

“Course he did, rabbit, cause he thinks she’s all right. He don’t know she’s using blood magic on his rich aunt so he can inherit her money.”

“It’s very complicated,” Cole decided. He snuggled even closer and actually yawned.

“You getting tired?” Dog asked. He’d found Cole asleep next to him the other morning, murmuring softly to himself. It had been one of more adorable things he’d ever seen in his life and in his line of work he regularly had baskets full of puppies.

“I think so. The music wants my eyes to be closed.”

“You go right ahead. I’ve got you here. Tell you if anything real exciting happens.” Dog made sure that Cole was secure against him and smiled when he closed his eyes.

“What in the world are you doing up here?” The unfamiliar, imperious voice behind him made Dog jump slightly. He turned his head to see a lanky Orlesian man in a vividly green mask standing in front of a small group of masked, muscled men. Dog rolled his eyes. Only in Orlais would thugs wear masks with pearls and feathers on them.

“Just sitting here, friend, nothing wrong with that. Why don’t you enjoy the show with us?” Cole had pulled away from him at the man’s voice and was hiding his face under his hat. Dog frowned. 

“Fereldan filth! This is my property!” Suddenly the men had more knives in their hands than they’d had before.

Dog raised an eyebrow and looked over to Cole. He’d already disappeared.

“Right,” Dog said with sigh and threw himself at the ringleader.

Things got a bit muddled after that. Someone elbowed him hard in the face and another grazed his side with a curved blade. He was pretty sure that Cole was the one who pushed the largest man off the ledge to fall on the stage below. This was before someone hit Cole over the head with piece of marble, which dropped him to his knees. The guards arrived shortly thereafter and the next thing Dog knew they were in a jail cell. A fairly standard day for Dog.

“I don’t want to be in here,” Cole said, his words slurring together. He was unsteadily walking along the wall under the window, his hands braced against the stone. Dog sniffed, trying to determine if his nose was broken, and went over to him.

“How’s your head, rabbit? Let me see,” Dog set Cole’s hat onto a thin cot and whistled at the gash on his temple. “That’s nasty, isn’t it? That bastard.”

“I don’t want,” Cole hesitated, his eyes glazed. “I don’t want to be in here anymore. Please.”

His thin fingers worked their way into the folds of Dog’s coat and he shivered hard. Dog wrapped his arms around him, worried at the strain in his voice. It wasn’t just pain that was upsetting him.

“I’ll get us out of here, no more fretting,” he said soothingly, rubbing his back. He raised his voice. “Soon as someone listens to me that we’re with the Inquisition.”

“Yes, you and half the people in here after that murderer went off with them,” the guard said, his face openly hostile.

“Hey, why didn’t you arrest those other bastards? They’re the ones that broke that fancy statue of Andraste. Bits of it are still in my friend’s skull.”

“It’s not worth my job to arrest the Comte Chabrol’s only son.”

“Figures,” Dog muttered. Cole was still shivering against him. He cupped his chin in his hand and whispered, “Hey now, you with me? Want you to get yourself out of here. Disappear and sneak out when the guards change.”

“No!” Cole said loudly, clutching at him tighter. “I won’t leave you here. They’ll forget you and I don’t want you to be forgotten!”

“Shush now, no one’s forgetting me.” Dog looked over at the guard but he wasn’t paying them much attention. “You wouldn’t forget me, would you? I just want you to get some help.”

Cole just shook his head weakly, his skin even more ashen.

As Dog tried to brainstorm ways of escaping prison with a panic-stricken, concussed Cole, he heard loud voices from the top of the stairs.

A moment later Vivienne descended, looking as out of place in the dingy dungeon as a phoenix in a barn. She leveled her cool eyes on Dog and Cole before turning them on the guard. She handed him a piece of paper.

“You’ll find everything in order here. Let them out, quickly so that we won’t have to take up anymore of your valuable time.”

“Who the hell are you?” The guard crumpled the paper in his fist.

Dog gasped mockingly and after gently setting Cole against the wall grabbed the bars of the cell. “That’s Madame Vivienne, First Enchanter of the Circle of Montsimmard you’re gobbing at there, friend. She’s a close, personal friend of the Herald of Andraste. Like us.”

“Indeed,” Vivienne said flatly. “The Herald is expecting us. For your sake, my dear, I would hate for you to be the reason that we’re late.”

It wasn’t long after that they were escorted out of the prison by apologetic guardsmen. Vivienne led them to a small, beautifully-decorated medical shop tucked into a corner of one of the upper levels in the city. Vivienne gathered together some things from an ornate display and shooed the shopkeeper away with little more than an impressive eyebrow arch. Cole was leaning heavily on Dog on a couch, his eyes closed and his breathing slow.

“Thank you, Madame,” Dog said very quietly, trying his best not to get dirt all over the plush purple cushions.

“Whatever happened to him?” Vivienne asked, eying Cole critically.

“Hit his head, Madame. Or that fucking Comte did. Pardon, Madame.” Dog wilted slightly under Vivienne’s disapproving look.

“I see.” She sighed and stepped over to them. “Let’s see then. We wouldn’t want the demon getting sick and deciding to try a healthier body.”

Vivienne was making a serene face that still somehow communicated deep distaste but her hands were gentle on Cole’s head as she examined the gash.

“He’ll need stitches,” she said curtly. “But he’ll be fine.”

“Guess my date idea was no better than his,” Dog murmured, more to himself as Vivienne began preparing a needle. “Didn’t even get to see the end of the play.”

“I didn’t either, thanks to you. A close friend of mine was the star.” Vivienne settled Cole’s head to a more manageable position and began carefully wiping the blood away with the fanciest handkerchief Dog had ever seen.

“Sorry, Madame.”

Vivienne pursed her lips as she attempted to push back some of Cole’s hair. “I’m sure it ended as all Antivan plays do. Surprise relatives, a large wedding, and too many songs all in a row.”

“What about the unexpected royalty and the friendly Crow?” Dog tensed as Cole shifted against him. “Settle, rabbit, I’ve got you.”

“Ah yes, the present from the Crow that solves a centuries-old family dilemma. All so terribly predictable.” Vivienne reached into the bag at her feet and pulled out a pair of scissors. “At least some good will come from this wasted day.”

“Yeah?”

“I’ll be able to do something about this travesty the demon considers hair. It’s an affront to the Inquisitor’s good image.” She began snipping at Cole’s hair with quick, precise movements before Dog could protest. Not that he would have been able to work up the nerve to protest.

“I’m definitely going to have to make this up to him,” Dog said with a sigh.

“I’m sure you’ll be able to manage something. I’m certain the darling boy is very easy to please.” 

Dog wondered if he was being insulted with her remark and then decided that he was better off not knowing. It was really for the best.


	5. A Rollicking Band of Pirates We

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think my fetish is roguish people treating Cole really nicely and thinking that he's sweet. Also this part is very small preview of what's happening in the next story.

Dog leaned over the railing and hated life.

“The ocean’s a monster,” he muttered. If he vomited one more time he was going to throw himself into the murky waters below.

“The ocean is not a monster. But there are monsters in it. They’re hungry, blood boiling as they wait and watch for their chance to devour,” Cole said cheerfully. Ocean living apparently agreed with him. His skin was flushed a healthy color from the salty sea air and he walked with a rolling, confident gait on the boat that Dog suspected was from him never needing to develop sea legs.

Dog risked turning himself around to lean his back against the railing. Cole handed him a glass of something that turned out not to be water but was surprisingly soothing for his rolling stomach.

“Look alive, you worthless curs!” Isabela shouted as she came up onto the deck. “This isn’t a pleasure cruise you’re on. If we hit the rocks of Kirkwall again, I’ll drown every last of you!”

“Wasn’t that your doing last time, Captain?” The ship’s only dwarven crewman—unless one counted Varric—scratched his beard thoughtfully.

“That’s Admiral, Shorty, and no one likes a smart mouth.” Isabela looked around and spotted Dog and Cole. Her lovely face lit up and she came over to them, her hips sashaying in pants that looked painted on her long legs. From across the deck Hawke accidentally knocked over a bucket of water watching her walk and got into a brief fight with the first mate.

“Won’t you be a lamb and check the rigging for me?” Isabela said to Cole. He stood up straighter as her request.

“Aye aye, Admiral!” Cole scampered over to the mast and began climbing up as quickly and easily as a monkey.

Dog wondered if Cole liked Isabela so much because she’d taken him under her wing like a stray kitten or if it was because even to Dog’s untrained eye her hat was a spectacular display of feathers and ribbons. He suspected it was a bit of both.

“Such a sweet boy,” Isabela said with a satisfied sigh and Dog glanced sideways at her. The Admiral had made it very clear that there was to be no fraternization on her ship. Since he’d been sick and Varric had stashed Cole in his more comfortable quarters, fraternization hadn’t been an issue. However he hadn’t considered the fact that Varric’s quarters were right next to Isabela’s room, where she was pointedly not allowing her lover Hawke to enter despite their terrifying sexual tension.

Dog had a brief image of his eager-to-please lover in the predatory grip of the curvaceous Rivaini and decided that he needed to give the idea some more thought. When he was feeling better. In bed. 

“I have an adorable little friend I think he’ll just love.” Isabela looked over at Dog as his surprised cough turned into dry heaving over the railing. She raised her eyebrow. “You’re not much of a sailor, are you? Such a waste.”

He tried to say something before she sauntered away but she was gone by the time he pulled his head all the way up. Cole was back at his side when he staggered around.

“I saw a bird. That means land is close by,” Cole told him proudly. He’d become a fount of nautical information.

“Too early for it to be Kirkwall, I’m afraid,” Varric said, strolling over to them. “We’ve got a long journey ahead of us. You look like shit, by the way.”

“You’re a master of words, you are.” Dog gripped the rail as the ship swayed heavily. “Kirkwall better be fucking amazing.”

“It’s really not.” Varris shrugged. “But my closest friends are all there and it is home. I think you two will really grow to tolerate it.”


End file.
